The classic combination of excitement and danger, just like riding on a rollercoaster while blindfolded. Next thing you know, you are eating cotton candy-colored tears. When life is overwhelming, couples counseling connections can be subtle.
Imagine Steve, Lisa and their relationship of a decade. It’s been a long time since they shared a kitchen. There have been many pizza boxes there and many heated debates on which Netflix show is best to watch. They’ve been feeling distant lately. This is where counseling comes in.
Entering a counseling office now isn’t the same thing as walking into some secret room. You can relate to it more and find that the experience is less mystical. You can think of it as a dating deja vue, only this time a ref is in charge. The word counseling is sometimes misunderstood to mean a doom and gloom situation. Spoiler alert: Counseling is not about endlessly blaming or finger-pointing. Opening the floodgates for communication is key.
A process like this can provide a wealth of information. This could reveal that your partner is more averse to you because of their childhood pet-peeve than outright dislike. These kinds of revelations usually bring on laughter and eye rolling, but these are breadcrumbs that can lead you back to your connection.
It is the counselors who are best at facilitating your journey. Imagine them fixing the sails for you so you can resume your smooth sailing. It’s easy to learn new things about each other with their assistance.
Are all sessions a piece of cake? Hardly. This is like expecting endless scoops without any brain chill to come your way. A truthful dialogue can often be fraught, full of emotional mines. Speaking your truth sometimes feels like shouting. The truth is, it’s fine. Counseling improves emotional fluency.
Isn’t magic the ability to recognize relationship tangos as they start and bring them together? But counseling offers a way of practicing this.
Remind yourself that love may not be as easy-going and smooth-sailing as you wish. A rowboat can get caught up in a storm. If you are seeking guidance, it does not necessarily mean your ship is in danger. In reality, this is an admission of the storm’s severity and a tactic to survive it together.
Humorous stories also arise. Couples will laugh together about embarrassing past experiences, like the one where someone became lost while searching in IKEA for a lampshade designed specifically for couples. What was the real problem? It turned out to be a quest for shared bright light. Sometimes, laughter and clarity are the only things that can bring you home.
This new-found clarity will help you to be more comfortable in your conversations. As slow as a lawnmower your grandparents used to use, understanding takes some time and effort, but the results are worth it.
Truthfully, therapy is more than an emergency parachute. Instead, it can be compared to a budget for a wet day. You’re investing in each other’s future by bringing your relationship back together.
Finally, counseling does not mean winning arguments. Instead it is about working together to reclaim the right of open skies. If you’re in a state of chaos and need some guidance, it might be possible to find a new way to dance.